Force Fantasies Homepage ~ Bedside Reading
~ About the
My L'il Soapbox
Hi, I'm Lorelei. Thanks for visiting my site and giving me a chance to share my feelings with you!
I'd like to explain why I decided to make this website about my force fantasies.
When I first got onto the internet in '97, I spent a lot of time searching for bondage websites. I'd already spent nearly ten years working in the bondage industry, so I'd seen an incredible amount of material by that point, but it was still exciting to me to discover more bondage pictures and writings.
By that time period, most of my sexual interests had already been explored via friends, partners, clubs and magazines -- but I hadn't really gotten into my forced-sex fantasies with anyone. In vanilla circles, conflict fantasies were instantly mistaken for criminal intent. In the fetish community, where I'd initially thought I'd find others into conflict fantasies, Master/slave role-play seemed to be much more popular. At some parties, I tried to introduce struggling or resistance into a scene, only to be surprised and confused when the top stopped playing.
There are plenty of fetish activities to explore, though, so I just went in a lot of different directions, all of which were entertaining. I didn't give my force fantasies any further consideration until I figured out that there were others like me lurking on the 'net.
What struck me, though, was the pariah nature of the websites and chat channels dedicated to forced-sex fantasies, rough sex, resistance play, and the like. The major website indexes didn't yield many results, and search engines came up with a lot of broken links on the topic. It seemed that in comparison with other fetishes, the force sites were fewer, were difficult to find, had very little original content, and had short lives before the sites moved or disappeared.
After exploring the few websites I could find, I got weary of seeing the same foreign-film vidcaps over and over and the low-res scans from '70s magazines that had been copied from site to site. I felt that the few webmasters who were persistent with their sites, were not putting much effort into a classy presentation. The sites were by male webmasters, presenting the male side of the fantasy; I felt distanced by the lack of representation of the female side of the fantasy.
I gave up on looking for websites and began exploring the IRC chat channels.
There were channels dedicated to all kinds of fantasies and role-playing. Masters & slaves, bondage and kidnapping. But most of the fetish channels warned that you could not participate if you were also visiting force-fetish channels. I wondered why this fetish had acquired pariah status.
After entering a number of the BDSM channels and sitting quietly, acquainting myself with the room etiquette, I began asking people why force-fantasy fetishists were not allowed. The replies I got were varied.
Some people assumed that the force-fetish chatters were actual, acting-out criminals. It didn't seem logical to me -- there are other conflict-fetishes, none of which are assumed to indicate a criminal personality. I asked them about their own fantasies. "Your fantasies are about bank-robbers tying and gagging women, but I'm not worried that you're about to rob a bank." "Your fantasy is about owning a slave, which would be illegal -- but no one's assuming that you're a criminal who actually plans to enslave someone."
Some people told me that they couldn't be "sure" which force-fantasy chatters were criminals so it was better to close them all out. (Couldn't that apply to anyone entering the chatrooms?) Others said they just didn't want that kind of fantasy introduced in their channel because the channel was about something else. (Why block out a group of people when your channel listing already delineates the topic of dicussion?) Others quite honestly said they just didn't like those fantasies and they couldn't deal with the fact that other people did.
No one's responses really made me feel that my interest was being treated as fairly as the next guy's. I continued on, exploring the channel listings.
Finally I found some chat channels devoted to my oh-so-controversial fantasies. After having read all the warnings at the other channels, the paranoia had rubbed off on me a little, and I was afraid that my fellow force-fetishists were going to turn out to be a bunch of real-life stalkers. But I held my breath and jumped in anyway.
To my surprise, hanging out in these channels was pretty much like hanging out in the other fetish channels. I got assailed with a bunch of rude whispers from men who wanted my attention -- just like in the channels of other topics. I saw names listed of people who didn't seem to be actively chatting in the room -- just like in the other channels. I saw some enthusiastic public role-playing going on -- just like in the other channels. And I met and chatted with some really thoughtful, intelligent, interesting men and women -- just like in the other channels.
Then I felt ashamed of myself for having assumed the worst. Heck, I'm one of these fetishists myself, and I'd bought into all the paranoia of the outsiders, believing my kind to be maniacs. I guess I hadn't learned anything since my 20s! Back then I was hiding all of my fetishes, afraid I was the only one, afraid that my partner would misinterpret me if I asked to do some bondage, or if I initiated some wrestling-sex, or if I suggested a struggle.
Here we are with the wonderful internet, the great connector, and people are still being divided up and separated and telling other groups to go stand in a corner.
So... that's why I finally decided I wanted my own force site, where I could climb up on a soapbox and tell the world what I think:
I think people with force fantasies should be treated with as much respect as any other fetishist. The BDSM credo, "safe, sane and consensual," does NOT mean that all scenes have to be about consent fantasies. It means only that all participants should consent to what their scene consists of. And if I want my boyfriend to chase me around the house, fling me on the bed, pull off my clothes and pry my legs open...
I'm sorry, what was I just talking about? Suddenly I've lost my train of thought and I'm feeling all distracted. Pardon me while I go play with my vibrator.
Why I'm Into This
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